There’s a popular meme on social media that says, “People don't leave bad jobs; they leave bad bosses.” It attracts plenty of ‘likes,’ and people give their experiences, but of course we never get the other side of the story.

It's a widely held belief, yet it's completely unfounded. People leave for a multitude of reasons, and one person's 'bad’ job is another person’s great job.

It’s true that some bosses are poor; they are human beings and range from poor to outstanding and have good days and bad days, just like the rest of us.

When bosses receive feedback, it usually includes both positive and negative responses.

Frequently mentioned criticisms include things like micromanagement, favouritism, poor communication, not enough workplace flexibility, and being quick to criticise and slow to praise.

Too often there are suggestions of a toxic atmosphere and of bullying at work. The problem is that toxicity and bullying are poorly defined and open to wide interpretation.

It’s true, not all managers are good leaders.

Naturally, some people leave because they dislike their boss or management, but that's just one reason. Better prospects, more pay, or just looking for a change are also reasons why people move on. It might be that that the work isn't stimulating enough or too difficult. They may feel out of their depth or struggle to keep up with their co-workers.

It's easy to just blame the boss but ignore that it’s the job and not the boss they don’t like or can’t handle.

The funny thing is that workers often go on to be bosses themselves. They can display all the flaws that they criticise and get a dose of reality.

Bosses are frequently torn between conflicting priorities. They have to try to keep the business successful, keep the team happy, keep their customers happy, and get the job done.

This isn’t easy and can lead to difficult conflicts.

Flexibility about working from the workplace or working from home can be challenging if the team member feels strongly about working from home for personal reasons. They can lose sight of the impact on the work and even on their co-workers and customers. They blame the boss for being inflexible even though others know coming to work is important.

Sometimes, people just want to do it their way and not the way the boss wants. If you want total freedom, maybe you should consider starting your own business and being your own boss. That can be very satisfying, but getting the job done becomes your ‘boss,’ and that can be much more demanding.

Furthermore, you may need help and start to recruit people. You quickly realise the difficulties of managing people.

Having said all that, clearly there are some bosses that create toxic atmospheres and behave like bullies, but before you point the finger, consider if your actions and behaviours towards your boss are part of the problem.

Do you communicate what you need? Managers aren’t mind readers. Speak up about your expectations.

Don’t always assume the worst; try to give your manager the benefit of the doubt.

Give your boss some recognition, too. Managers need appreciation just as much as employees do.

Your manager isn’t perfect, but neither are you.

The solution isn’t always to move on; you could be just moving from the frying pan into the fire.

Remember, relationships are a two-way street; even if only a small part of the problem with your boss is actually you, you might take it into your next job when it might just flare up again.

Ian Garner

Ian Garner is a retired Fellow of the Chartered Management Institute (FCMI) and the Institute of Directors (FIoD).

Ian is a board member of Maggie’s Yorkshire. Maggie’s provides emotional and practical cancer support and information in centres across the UK and online, with their centre in Leeds based at St James’s Hospital.

He is the founder and director of Practical Solutions Management, a strategic consulting practice, and is skilled in developing strategy and providing strategic direction, specialising in business growth and leadership.