Pride Month, Why It Matters

I am not gay, but if I were, I would be the first one running out of the closet.

Good on you Dolly for being an advocate and ally of the LGBTQI+ community. But sadly, the reality is that some people from that community are terrified of revealing who they really are, because of the very real consequences to them and others. Yes, society has moved on a lot when it comes to recognising, respecting and allowing rights to this community, but major challenges still exist. This is why Pride month matters, because this is about human rights, not ‘gay rights’ and we still have work to do on this issue.

Persecution of certain communities is a well told story throughout history such as apartheid, the aboriginal community, the crusades and we can add gay rights to that list. This community in the UK were considered morally deviant and dangerous, so much so that it was illegal to be gay. The message sent to this community was, you don’t belong in decent society, you are a danger to people, and you need to be removed by law.

This of course created segregation, promoted persecution and was a breeding ground for homophobia. It gave people permission to engage in hate-speech, violence and discrimination. In the UK, the laws to protect gay people have now changed, but unfortunately some members of society still think it’s alright to abuse this community. That needs calling out and Pride is a reminder that this hate is not acceptable, this amazing community is alive and thriving and will not be silenced.

Members of the LGBTQI+ community unfortunately still must contend with people in society that send the message, you are shameful, unwanted, don’t belong, choose this lifestyle and are a danger to children. Sexuality is not a choice, yes, it is complicated in terms of causality, but why on earth would someone choose to be LGBTQI+ and live a life that brings them misery, abuse and discrimination?

That is a difficult life and one best avoided, but people still believe it’s a lifestyle choice and that you can ‘change.’ For some members of this community, they can face pressure from family, culture and religion to change or face ostracism, shunning and disownment. The fear of such consequences can leave some people living in fear, with dreadful mental health and in some cases feel life is so hopeless that they take their own life.

I’m an adolescent and adult psychologist and have been treating patients for almost two decades. Sadly, I still hear heart-breaking stories from adolescent LQBTQI+ patients who are scared, bullied at school, self-harming and struggling with their mental health. From my adult patients who are LQBTQI+, again they can live in fear of being the victim of a homophobic attack, some have been disowned by their family and obviously as a result have poor mental health. All the patients have one singular thing in common, they are not heterosexual, and this difference is deemed as unacceptable.

Being made to feel that you are unacceptable, shameful and unworthy of love is the perfect recipe for creating all manner of mental health disorders. Pride month reminds society that members of this community matter, they have acceptance and value. It speaks to that scared, gay child at school that they are not alone, and that life can and does get better.

It gives hope to the adult that is scared to tell their family that they are not heterosexual, that you can find ‘family’ who will love you unconditionally and not make you feel ashamed for who you are. In some cases, Pride month will literally save the lives of people who feel so hopeless that they don’t want to live any longer.

During this Pride month, you don’t have to be at the front of the parade waving a rainbow flag - if that is your thing, good for you! For all of us, it can be the attitude we hold of tolerance, inclusion and acceptance.
We can all send the message that you have value and are worthy of respect and love. That is why Pride matters, because members of this community matter and as long as they need this reminder, then Pride matters.

Dr Mark Rackley

@drmarkrackley
www.drmarkrackley.com
Listen to my podcast: I Have Issues, The Mental Health Podcast From Dr Mark Rackley (on all major podcast platforms)

For support with your mental health:
-Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service.
-Make an urgent appointment with your GP.
-Go to your nearest Accident and Emergency (A&E) department.
-Visit www.nhs.uk. All areas have local mental health crisis lines where urgent help, possibly at home, can also be arranged.