Insecurity: A Universal Issue & What You Can Do

Security feels good. It gives us a sense of peace, calm and confidence that we are alright and life as we know it is safe and enjoyable. Insecurity on the other hand feels awful, makes us feel that we’re not alright and life becomes hard work. We can feel insecure for all kinds of reasons, we may not like a part of who we are or can struggle with the challenges that life unexpectedly and inevitably throws at us.

If we are insecure about a part of ourselves, we don’t like, it leaves us not feeling good enough and we feel others are better than we are. It causes us to doubt ourselves, our abilities, creates worry and anxiety which result in a lack of self-confidence and self-esteem.
Insecurity about our life will do exactly that, it makes us feel unsafe, unstable, fearful, despairing and hopeless.

Insecurity is a universal human experience as life does not offer anyone a guarantee of success, health or happiness. There is no proven formula for living that gives you total security on a personal, professional and relational level. Insecurity affects us all, whether we admit it or not.

People can spend their life looking for the source of security to avoid insecurity. They may seek it with excessive wealth, staying healthy, looking as young as possible or connecting to a higher purpose or power. These solutions may provide a level of security in one aspect of our life, but there is no panacea, no golden ticket or magic wand that will give us total security, so we all need to tolerate insecurity and that is the unbearable truth. In that case, we all have the issue of insecurity, so we all need help with it.

The reality is, trying to live a secure life in a world that is fundamentally insecure, is an impossible task. Insecurity can come from circumstances that have nothing to do with us and over which we have no control, such as governmental decisions, health scares, pandemics and work-related situations. Again, and again situations will challenge us and cause us to feel insecure.

If the Covid-19 pandemic has taught us anything, it’s how insecure the world really is. Many of us took for granted that we could hug our family and friends, go to work, travel on holiday, attend weddings and funerals and sit in a pub and have a pint. A virus put a stop to all of that and shook the foundations of life at this time.

Insecurity filled all our lives as we were faced with a scenario that was once only imagined in movies.
Insecurity about ourselves can arise from multiple sources such as the culture or family that we belong to. Certain cultures and families put great emphasis on personal and professional attributes that are deemed important for acceptance both on a cultural and wider societal level.

These attributes may include what we should physically look like, weigh, career choice, education, popularity, income and family. The pressure to conform to these familial, cultural and societal pressures can lead to feelings of insecurity about who we are, what we look like, what we do and earn, to name a few.

What can we do if we struggle with insecurity? Insecurity is a universal experience of all, so own it! No one has all the gifts, and we are just like everyone else, having strengths and weaknesses. Begin by looking at our own insecurities, we can establish how big of an issue it is or isn’t in our lives.

Try and choose a different more balanced response to the insecure thoughts. See ourselves in perspective instead of focusing on certain aspects, such as weight, career or looks. In doing so, focus on our complete life and have a wider viewpoint and not a reductionist one.

Be aware if we are placing too much emphasis and value on one or two things and not looking at the bigger picture of our life. Stand back and take a proper look at ourselves and get some perspective.

Having the issue of insecurity needs to be managed and it can be. Freeing ourselves from our insecurities creates stability, peace and a level of security in our life. It causes us to live life on our terms, not based on what we think others want us to be. There is freedom in acceptance and accepting our insecurities frees us from the traps they create for us in life.

Dr Mark Rackley

@drmarkrackley
www.drmarkrackley.com
Listen to my podcast: I Have Issues, The Mental Health Podcast From Dr Mark Rackley (on all major podcast platforms)

For support with your mental health:
-Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service.
-Make an urgent appointment with your GP.
-Go to your nearest Accident and Emergency (A&E) department.
-Visit www.nhs.uk. All areas have local mental health crisis lines where urgent help, possibly at home, can also be arranged.